.: The Tunnel of Hatred. ((: :.
Valerie here. ((:
During the morning devotion on the last day of cell-encounter, I started writing in my notebook. And this "Tunnel of Hatred" came to mind. As it is, I have hatred in my heart. The tunnel of hatred illustrates exactly how I'm feeling. I'm trapped in a deep, dark and dirty tunnel. I have to get out of there. Because it's deep, I'm lost. Because it's dark, I'm more afraid. Because it's dirty, I get more dirty. Instead of going out, I'm digging myself deeper and deeper into the tunnel. I need to get myself out of the tunnel and bathe to get the dirt off completely. It may take a long time because I've dug too deep a tunnel. Each time I try to dig towards the entrace of the tunnel, I'm faced with a roof-fall and this sets me back. I caused the roof-fall to happen, because I harboured negative thoughts. And yet, I give up and dig even deeper inside the tunnel, hiding in it. Along the way, there are worms and all those creepy-crawlies, which is Satan trying to trap and block me to make me go even deeper into the tunnel.
I shared this with Joadine and Kai Yee, and they said that God put this word in my heart to tell me what I should do. Technically speaking, it will indeed take a long time. I'm way too deep in it.
I went crazy yesterday and I really want to take this opportunity to thank God for sending Kai Yee online on MSN. I shared with her everything and He also sent me Ying Qi to call me out for lunch. (:
I have decided to delete away my old blog. My blog is for ME. Me alone. To blog out my frustrations, my tempers, my unhappiness. And yet? People invade my blog. They don't do anything bad, but they are people whom I do not want them to read my blog. True, they act as silent readers and all that stuff, thinking I won't find out about them. I CAN and I WILL find out eventually. Since I have no peace in a blog and a diary, perhaps I shall have a media one. One that I can just talk to my MP3 or handphone and record it. A media blog. Cool, huh?
Darn mosquito. Flying around my legs. Looking for a chance to suck my blood. If my darling hamsters ever get bitten by those mosquitoes, I shall REMOVE THEM FROM THE SURFACE OF THE EARTH.
Speaking of my hamsters, there is a lizard. Don't you know what's a lizard? A reptile. A small one. That's right. One of them, a fat and huge one, IS LIVING WITH MY HAMSTERS!
Imagine that! In the mornings and nights, the lizard will be sleeping in the cage with them. In the afternoons, etc, it wakes up and hides behind the cupboard. At first, I was even thinking, what if the lizard bites and kills my hamsters? My father has since put aside that thought. Frankly speaking, I'm still afraid of the lizard. There was once I was feeding my hamsters some vegetables when the lizard appeared and brushed past my hands! I didn't know until I saw it. As expected, I SCREAMED.
Yesterday was my grandfather's first death anniversary. Everybody went to that place where his ashes were kept. [I forgot where.] My friend and his family's ashes were near my grandfather's one. Thus, my mother bought four yellow chrysanthemums for them as well. After which all of us [my relatives] went to a nearby coffee-shop near my grandmother's house and had dinner. We had booked three tables in advance. I tell you, my baby cousin, Brandon, is absolutely, absolutely, PERVERTIC. I won't elaborate on that.
Buh-bye. I'm HUNGRY! I'm going to look for some snacks to eat. Yum yum, you don't have snacks. Wahaha.
`Val signing off. <3
Me blogged @ | 5:37 PM
