hello! just came back from g12 so very high. got inspiration to post.

combined with kelly's family. i was late! so malu. but then you all shouldn't have waited for me! gugu shared today. really powerful. it kind of collaborates with SP's sermon

IS GOD LORD OR ARE YOU LORD?
thanks for God's word from gugu. it really opened my eyes.

as you know, i'm having my O level this year. i have to admit that it has been dominating my life. the pressure of must get distinctions. the fear of not getting good grades. and the huge problem is, i haven't really entered the study mood. procrastinating always. sigh. i didn't come to school today by the way. too lazy.

anyways, i've always told myself that at this moment, i will focus on my studies. church somehow became a secondary department in my life. i will still go to church, of course, to get blessings. beyond that, minimal participation. so selfish right! after Os, i promise that i will go full time in church.

unfortunately, i wasn't able to go for church last sunday (for those of you who don't know and want to know why, ask personally). but gugu gave an overview. she then talked about putting God first. some sub categories like relationships and mothering. she asked us when was the last time we felt the presence of God. i didn't copy notes so that's just a very brief summary.

there God spoke to me. have i put studies in front of him? isn't the battle won already? why am i still keeping lifeboats? he told me that this is a period of test. and during a period of test, it is not the time where you give up and lean back, it is the time where you give it all. you don't let you guard down. u strain your every muscle as if it's your last run before the competition to see if your good enough. does not a car shows its best features and its flaws on a rocky road and not on a smooth one? if i start dedicate my all after my Os, it will be like showing my topnotch acting skills during a dry run (theatre term: the first rehearsal of a performance where the actors go through their lines without the need of much countenances).

in this period of trial, i must persevere and continue to walk closely with God. my perspective has changed. i want to please God in everything i do. i will no longer study to please man but study and please God. i still need to meditate more about this to give it a good foundation. i know, i'm talking again. it's just words. but with the strength of the Holy Spirit my words will manifest itself in the flesh.
wohoo!

oh! and one last thing! i've noticed that our family has so much complications now a days. much more than y'all know of. lucky i got nothing to do with it all. but, of course, i'm affected. really a period of test.