hey dearrsssssssssss...

hahass.. i've got so many dearrssss.. hahas.. ((:
guess many of your might have heard from ah ma wad happened to me and my dad.

for those of u who dont know.. i'll type it here.. (;

last week.. i wanted to invite my family down to church.. since it was the week of: celebrating the family. so i decided to pluck up the courage to ask them along. especially my dad. for most of you who have heard me talk about how my dad doesn't like christianity, not even going to church, will be able to understand how difficult it is for me to open my mouth and ask. and so i decided to tell them wad activities expo would have. and i emphasised a lot on the sentence: PASTOR IS GOING TO SHARE ABOUT FAMILY! ((:

i really hoped and pray dat by saying all these, maybe there would be a chance of my dad going. he however did not answer. den on sunday, i asked again. and dis time his answer was different. dis was how the conversation goes:

ade--->adeline
dad---> my dad

ade: papa.. wanna come my church?
dad: no.
ade: why? today pastor gonna talk about family. its a topic which i believe will interest u! (at dis point, i was trying hard not to sound so forceful. and tried hard to smile)
dad: i go there also no use. we got different views.
ade: how would u know if u never go??? (i was getting angry alredy. so was my dad)
dad: i dont wan2 go there and get angry. i dont wan2 blow my top.
ade: u never go how u ever know? just like u never drink coke how u know it tastes nice.. (he interrupted)
dad: i dont need people to talk to me! i believe in myself to do my own things!!!! why should i go listen to someone talk when u dont even listen to me?!?!
ade: den why ahma(my grandma) u listen?
dad: not dat i believe all the buddhist stuff! i dont believe in anything! only myself!!!
ade: den why ahma ask u go temple, u stil go even when u nvr believe? den i ask u go church, u dont believe, at least go have a look! the reason why i never listen is because we both have different views about things. if u choose to go church, i will listen to u. if not, things will be like dis forever..

the moment i said the last sentence, my dad already walked away.. i really have such overwhelming hatred for my dad! i cant bring myself to forgive him. at that point, i seem to have come to a conclusion. there is no way my dad will ever step into church!!!

i was really feeling very upset. i felt so hurt.

i decided to tell ahma about dis later in the afternoon. and she said some encouraging things.. wan2 see can ask me for hp ((: hehes...

yea lohh.. anyway, hmm... yea.. until now, i really feel dat the hatred for him is getting more and more everyday. its difficult for me. i seem to ignore the things he say to me nowadays.. )): i noe its wrong. but i cant help it. i just sometimes feel dat he's bias. he dotes on my brothers more den me. )):

yea lohh... haiis.

i heard last week's sermon on the net. and it was really touching..

prayer request:
really hope dat my heart and spirit will be open to God so dat the light of God's love, grace, mercy and glory will shine in me!!! and thus, dis light will shine through the whole household and my whole family will be saved!!! ((:

thank you my dear family!
you guys seem to be like my real family. cos i sometimes feel dat your love me more. and to not be able to have fatherly love is a sad thing. but gladly, got daddy (ee jay) and mummy (julee) to love and care for me!

im commited to dis family! love ya'll!!! have a blessed week! amen!