Wednesday, October 11, 2006
.: do not forget in darkness what you have learnt in the light :.
alrights!thanksgiving time!=))wanna thank God for today's wonderful blessings.thank God for His strength and wisdom=))i was able to endure through the long school hours despite that i was really tired!thank God!=))
hahas.time for miss jessica to speak.opps.sorry sorry.wrong wrong.should be cute and adorable miss jessica.muahahahas.bLehs=P
yups.i experienced a ONE second blackout just now while doing my quiet time!unbelievable. the computer suddenly shut down and lights off.i guess it must be the work of the devil. hahas. he must be very angry that i listen and sing praise(worship) to God.yups. kekes. chatting with brother melvin now.who is also known as doctor lim. kekes.
well,i believe most of you had finish your exams?maybe except adeline?still having mock exams?hahas.tmr is the last day of school!(for my school)YEAH!
anyway,i had a little chat with julee mama just now.yups. hahas. told her about my encounter with God.so overwhelming! i asked her the meaning of:"do not forget in darkness what you have learnt in the light".yups yups.
as most of you know, i had gotten my prelims results.hahas. i guess most of the ppl especially my church bro-s and sis-s,would think that i had done well. hahas. not really actually. very disappointing(to me).especially my geography.i studied so hard for it. even my friends thought i would do well for geo paper.guess what? hahas. it ended up i got a C5 while most of my friends scored at least a B3 and some others, A2 and A1. i was really sad that day. i broke down and cried the moment i received my paper.i was stunned. i don't understand why. i can't understand in fact. i asked God, "why? why me?"i questioned God about His unfairness.however, when i got home, sat down and do my quiet time, God brought me to this again."do not forget in darkness what you have learnt in the light".can you imagine how was i feeling? i was so ashame of myself. i felt so guilty for questioning God. i prayed and asked for His forgivessness that day.but some how, i was still troubled.
i had a long hours of chatting with joadine last satuday and i told her about this.i asked her if she knows the deeper and inner meaning of that sentence.yups. very chim. i know. hahas. she asked me if i had told mama. my answer was no.i told her that there was a fear in me. or rather, there seemed to be something that's stopping me from sharing with mama about this. thought of approaching my ah pa(guanghan) or gege(eejay) before. but again, i had the same feeling. joadine asked me to check if that "fear" is the fear of the Lord or other kinds of fear aftering sharing with her my feelings. da jie, thanks alot! thanks for listening to me!=)) thank God for you! then on sunday after worship, pastor said something like "don't be deceived by the devil that you are not worthy to be His sons and daughters!"woah. everything seemed to unfold itself after that. God showed me that i had all these "troubles" and "fear" because i am not will to accept His forgiveness. it is I, who cannot forgive myself rather than God who had forgiven me when i asked for His forgiveness.so people, don't follow what your hearts says. i was easily deceived by satan by listening to my heart and trust that God did not forgive me. yups. there was a sense of affirmation that i was forgiven after yesterday's quiet time with God.God showed to me Psalm 86:5 and Psalm 86:15. thank God for His BIG and forgiving heart.
yups. i asked mama if this is something that God wanted to show me and put me through so that i would learn something and she said yes. she also said that the sentence is basically what i told her which is, we must not forget what we have learnt during the good times and forget them all in times of difficulties. she continued saying that even in times of trials, i need to always depend on God and remember what i have learnt especially during these times when i need to trust His words and press on!yups yups. hehes. understand it better now. thanks mama. thanks alot!
yes, indeed, i was very disappointed with my results.but nevertheless, God is GOOD!;)) yups! will press on for Jesus ,for God!i will cheong for Jesus!all the best to me! hahas.thank God for mama and da jie=))i love you!BIG -hUgS-good night.jessica=))
Me blogged @ | 2:17 AM
