There is something that I would like to share. Recently I had fallen quite ill, having high fever, cough, phlegm and headache. Had seen 2 doctors and taken 3 days of medical leave (MC) from work. Just manage to return to work on 8 May 2008 though still feeling unwell but I need to go back to work!

Anyway, I committed quite a serious mistake in my work about 2 weeks ago which got my site manager and myself into some sort of trouble and inconvenience. I felt it was really a stupid mistake or decision which I have made. I apologized to my boss on spot and he say he wanted to kill me! Of course…that was joking but I guess he is quite frustrated over this matter.

When I met my mum for dinner that day, as I was waiting for her.. Again I felt remorseful and thinking that why has my stupidity causes this mistake that shouldn’t have happen! I message my boss again to apologize. And his reply was ‘OK, Do be careful next time. Take good rest as u are still quite sick. See u tomorrow’.

This bothered me because I kept thinking and asking myself WHY do I do such a silly thing? I was DISAPPOINTED with myself! I asked God that my attachment so far has been quite good, the bosses like me and why do such things have to come at such time to jeopardize all the effort I have put in so far! WHY is it so unfair? I know for this, my grade will be mark down and might affect my results eventually.

But God led me to my favourite verse in the bible: Romans 5:3-5. “It states but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the holy spirit, whom he has given to us.”

I reflected and I realize that what will I gain if I keep blaming myself, feeling remorseful, feeling guilty, complaint and whine? The end product is nothing! NOTHING but only a waste of time! Why not I focus on other more important thing! There are still things undone waiting for me to accomplish!

I just wanted to share that when things seem to go wrong or harsh on you…when there is really NOTHIING u can do about it…then STOP harping on the matter! Instead direct ur FOCUS to other things that require ur attention! Is it worth wasting those precious time just by blaming urself, falling into despair or ‘eating worms’? NO! God is a God who provides! When we fall, he will pick us up! He will make a way which we cannot see! He will Bless! I praise God in this situation for he made me learn my mistake and to be more careful in future! It’s alright to fall but U make sure u take the courage to stand up again! And only God gives that courage! Praise the Lord! Amen!

Loves,
Michelle Tan